Better.

Kathleen: On Positive Parenting, No Homework, And More...

Today’s guest is Kathleen, a mother and artist whose unique approach to parenting has allowed for simplicity and balance in her life while still cultivating meaningful bonds with each of her kids.  Through her various stories about raising children, we learn that parenting doesn’t need to be much more complicated than providing a supportive environment for your children to grow and they will wind up with everything they need to embark upon their own life’s journey...

Highlights of this episode include:
-What happened when she gave her son the option to simply STOP doing his homework
-Why a gap year was the best thing to ever happen to her son
-Why if she could change one thing about her past, she would’ve gotten a Farrah Fawcett haircut in high school
-How she got her 21-year-old son to go to Ikea to take photos (Hilarious!)
-Her brilliant 'pool table’ metaphor for life

"Lisa: On Silencing The Voices In Your Head"

Our inner monologues can oftentimes do a number on us if we allow them to.  They can tell us we’re not good enough, or that we need to stay in that bad relationship, in addition to an endless amount of other diatribes that cause us to wage unnecessary war against ourselves.  My conversation with today’s guest, psychologist and certified life coach Lisa Kaplin, takes aim at these voices and deconstructs them with a number of very important questions:  Are these voices even real? Whose voice is it? Are they serving you or making you happy? What if you changed it to a different voice, something more positive and nurturing? How would this change your life? All of this, and much more!

Highlights of this episode include:
-Silencing the voice inside your head that says you should do what other people want you to
-How staying in a bad job or bad marriages can set up bad models for your kids
-Why she decided to work exclusively with women in her coaching practice
-How Instagram culture is affecting our kids
-Can body image issue begin as early as infancy?
-Why the Millennial generation is a great thing for our society, and more!

Cara: How Forgiveness Can Set Your Free

Cara Pollard is a friend and colleague of mine whose practice was born out of a significant childhood event - one day, her mother left to “go buy a pack of cigarettes” and didn’t return for an entire year.  Instead of growing into an angry, resentful adult over this, Cara ultimately used the experience as an opportunity to become an expert in the art of forgiveness.  Cara’s here to share her story today, and detail how forgiving her mother was essentially a pathway to deep healing, avoiding destructive feedback loops, and creating the family and career of which she had always dreamed.

In this episode we discuss:
-Her mother’s abandonment as a child, and how their relationship is now stronger than ever because of it
-Why you should never badmouth a parent to a child, regardless of the situation
-Is forgiveness more of a process, or a point in time?
-How her experiences as a child helps her coach other parents today

Emily, Part 2: On Cancer, Courage, Death & Life

Where we last left off in Part 1, Emily was telling us about her experience dealing her younger brother’s battle with brain cancer, in addition to the news that her mother also had cancer. Things had seemed like they were finally settling down for a bit, until her brother’s cancer returned...

In this episode, we talk about:
Her brother Jack’s second cancer diagnosis, and where she was when it happened
The hilarious joke Jack played on me when I ran into one time
What Jack had to say about Emily shaving her head
Her last time she saw Jack
The period of time following his death, why she never took time off from school
Why death, dying, and illness doesn’t need to be a taboo topic to talk about.

Emily, Part 1: On Cancer, Courage, Death and Life

Emily vividly remembers the day she got the news. Unfortunately, she hadn’t made the volleyball team that year. While something like this might crush the average 13-year-old, Emily was able to shrug this off like it was nothing. Mostly because when she got home that day, she learned that her younger brother, Jack, had cancer…

Today is the first half of a very important conversation with Emily, whose family took a journey to hell and back that they never asked for, and handled it with some of the greatest strength and poise I have ever heard of. Perhaps most importantly, I’m blown away by the person Emily has become as a result of her circumstances. Her heart, her humor, and her humility is the stuff of sages...

Highlights of this episode include:
-What it was like to get the news about her brother Jack
-Her parents’ disposition that life was going to move on anyway throughout Jack’s illness
-How cancer allowed her to create a very special bond with her brother that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise
-How she gracefully, and humorously handles ‘pity’ from others

Laura: On Strength & Tenacity Through Struggles, Part 2

Laura is back for Part 2 today to share the rest of her story.  Where we last left off, Laura had just packed her bags and shipped off to Germany in the wake of her brother’s suicide.  I don’t want to spoil too many details here, but the conclusion of Laura’s story is a true testament to how to the struggles you endure really do shape who you are for the better, and allow to give back a great deal to this world.

Highlights of this episode include:
-The “scripts” that we carry around about ourselves, and how they influence who we are...
-The effect that becoming a college professor had on her, despite never really believing she was smart
-The seemingly small incident that finally helped her feel “at home” in her career…
-How she made the incredible leap from college professor to therapist
-How all the difficult things she went through in her life informed the work she does today
-The best way to explain addiction-related issues to children
-And even a little Springsteen banter!

Laura: On Strength and Tenacity through Struggles

My guest today is Laura, a great friend and highly-valued colleague and, you will find, a wildly eloquent badass. Today, Laura is kind enough to share her triumphant life story of overcoming enormous obstacles over decades, including alcoholism, tragic loss, and low familial expectations. All along the way, you can sense Laura’s unwavering steely strength, and deep faith in her ability to not only survive, but to overcome and leverage her experience to help and guide others. Laura shares her story here with generosity, warmth and humor. One can only imagine that her friends, family and clients benefit enormously from the richness of Laura’s story.

UNDUE ANXIETY - NEW TITLE ANNOUNCEMENT!

Big announcement today, everybody. We are changing the name of the podcast to "Undue Anxiety" for a number of reasons, which I explain in this quick announcement. Lots of exciting, new and improved things to come!

“Scream At Your Loved Ones. Go Ahead… It’s Okay"

Lately, I’ve had a wave of mothers and daughters in the therapy room that have been having some knock-down, drag out verbal brawls right before my very eyes.  And as I’m witnessing these all-out battles, one word comes to mind - AWESOME! That’s right… awesome! Today’s short podcast is about how it’s just okay to emote; to scream at your loved ones; to hash out your issues as a way to work toward resolving them.  You’d be surprised about the amount of anxiety that this simple tactic can relieve!

"Anxiety, Rejection, And The Job Market For Recent College Grads"

Today’s guest, Samantha, describes the post-college job search as a period of “Free Fall,” in which there is lots of uncertainty, instability, and rejection to be encountered along the path to building a meaningful career.  And riding the coattails of those three things, of course, is anxiety. Anxiety about immediately being able to support yourself and pay back student debts. Anxiety about comparing yourself to others. Anxiety about your family wondering what how come you haven’t found a job already. But the truth is that today’s job market for college grads has changed quite a bit since the last generation, and getting caught in any of the above mindsets isn’t productive or helpful. Luckily, Samantha is able to report from the trenches here with some valuable words of wisdom for navigating this period.

Highlights of this episode include:
-How today’s entry level job market for college grads isn’t the same as earlier generations
-Is there shame around not having all "the answers" at 22?
-How her struggles has inspired her really work on the art of self-acceptance, and maintaining self-worth through transitional periods
-Why you shouldn’t beat yourself up with what you “should’ve done” on missed opportunities, etc.
-Appropriate self criticism - what is helpful and useful vs. excessive and hurtful?
-How to cope when nothing is really panning out career wise
-How “transitional jobs” can assist with personal growth and finding your path